Episode 091: The Bloop Curve

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The Bloop Curve

Onward and upward. What could go wrong?

We put on our Musketeer caps and get giddy about a solar city. Then we go into this whole, weird thing about brains, minds, language, programming, and a bunch of other junk. With any luck, we come out a little less dumb for it. You be the judge!

Notes

Media Mentions™

Tom

Scott

Zach

  • Archer
  • And now, courtesy of Zach,

The S.Bros Official Brown Butter Vinaigrette Bro-ssels Sprout Salad™

Ingredients

Vinaigrette

4 tablespoons salted butter

1 tablespoon white wine vinegar

1 tablespoon of lemon juice

2 tablespoons of olive oil

Pinch of kosher salt

Salad

1 pound Brussels Spouts trimmed of outer shell and stem

1/3 cup of grated Pecorino Romano cheese

½ cup of chopped dates

½ cup of Pistachios, rough chopped

Directions

Put 4 tablespoons of butter into a small sauce pan over medium heat.

The butter will go kind of crazy and you will be afraid. Stir continuously unless there is an unrelated emergency that requires your attention.

After the butter becomes dark brown and looks like coffee pour it into a glass measuring cup and set aside to cool. There is going to be some sediment leavings in the pan. Do not neglect these. They are the good stuff. Gloop them also into the measuring cup.

When you have recovered from this process, find the strength to gather to you one pound of Brussels Sprouts. Cut off the ends and remove the gross outer layers. Sometimes you can buy Brussels Sprouts where this has already been done for you. You may, at this point, wish that you had already done so.

Using a food processor with the slicing blade, process the food in question, which, in this case, is Brussels Sprouts. Take the time to appreciate how easy this step was and realize that there are many people who, in days of olden, did this with a knife by hand. People from the past are worse than we are.

Put shredded sprouts in a large mixing bowl.

Get about a 1/3 of a cup of your good Pecorino Romano. You’ll know that it’s good because it’ll be hard, salty and strong, like the John Wayne of cheese. Grate!

Add the cheese to the sprouts in the bowl we spoke of earlier.

Next you will want a half of a cup of dates. This is the measure of dates you will want after they have been cut. If it is before they are cut then filling your half cup will yield a different, less desired, amount of dates because physics doesn’t care about your feelings. So be sure that you have sliced the dates into small chunks before you measure them. This will probably take 8 or so dates. I just don’t know. I really don’t.

Add the dates to the sprouts and cheese already patiently waiting in that mixing bowl you’ve heard so much about.

Lets take a moment to work on the vinaigrette now. In a new bowl—not the bowl we already talked about a lot, which at first you were skeptical of, but over time as you got to know it (and even knowing how crazy this sounds, but you don’t even care at this point because dammit you are going to follow your heart wherever it leads) have come to think of as a true friend—pour 1 tablespoon of white wine vinegar. Or whatever kind. That’s just what I have.

1 tablespoon lemon juice. Squeezed (squozen?) from a lemon is preferable if you care at all about how things taste. But that’s the thing about you, you’ve never really cared enough.

Add lemon juice to the second bowl. The lesser bowl.

2 tablespoons olive oil now. Those also go into the vinaigrette bowl.

Slowly whisk in that butter from earlier. You may also want to add a little salt at this point but if your butter was salted and your cheese was as salty as it should have been, take it easy.

This second bowl man. I just…it’s like it doesn’t even care about how far back you and the first bowl go. It thinks it can just come in here, new-ing around, and that just because you spent some time with it that meant you guys had something special. But you don’t. Prove it by pouring that bowl’s contents into the one, true Bowl.

Mix.

At this point you more or less have what you’ve been after all this time. Good food. Real friendship. An honest day’s work. Some purpose and meaning. You might think, yeah, things are pretty good and this salad is more or less complete. It could all end right now and I’d be pretty happy.

Well yeah, but don’t bliss out yet. This salad needs to chill awhile. It’s had a big day. Cover Bowl and put in the fridge. The dressing will soften the sprouts and that’s what you want: soft sprouts.

Know this. The salad wants to be served at room temperature for full butter revealing. If the salad is cold the butter flavor will hide. So pull it out of the fridge about an hour before you serve it.

The other thing you’ll want to do before you serve it? Add nuts. In this case you will add pistachios. You may put them in whole or jack them up a little. It’s ok either way. Really.

Whatever you do don’t put the nuts in before the salad goes in the fridge or your nuts will get weird. Don’t have weird nuts. Put them on and mix them in before serving.

And that’s it.